Continuing our studies on why people leave the faith, I offer you George. Please read this and let’s discuss what is going on. I will add some questions at the conclusion.

___________________

“My story is as messy as life itself. I’m in the early processes of going public with my deconversion, but it also feels liberating to finally admit the truth out loud, and in the open.

I became a Christian in high school through a youth ministry called Young Life. I went to a week long camp where the gospel was packaged and delivered with great polish and skillful delivery, which was designed for maximum emotional impact. Many girls in the audience at night were in tears as they listened to the account of Jesus. We were all encouraged the final night to go off by ourselves in the dark and commit our lives to Christ. I remember that time vaguely thinking to myself that god really wasn’t there, but I think I prayed to him anyway, just in case. It wasn’t a fervent prayer however, because I wasn’t entirely sure I WANTED him to exist. Still, my friends were doing it, and they seemed cool and nice, so I’d do it to.

I came back from camp somehow oddly pumped up for Christ. I threw myself into bible studies, and developed my Christian friendships a great deal. I still have those Christian friendships, and love my buddies - although now that is a problem (more on that in a moment). I still had nagging doubts in the back of my mind, but kept pushing them aside and just tried harder to be a good Christian. The next few years in college I would vacillate quite a bit. One year I was a volunteer actually helping Young Life. The next year I joined a fraternity and was elected VP, partying heavily and enjoying relationships with sorority women. Continue Reading »

Join us in reclaiming the mind for Christ. Start The Theology Program in your church.

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I got this post in an email today and found it very troubling, yet characteristic of the stories I hear everyday about people who leave Christianity after being brought up in a ridged fundementalistic tradition. However, I did find it interesting that Nathan (the man who wrote this) gave Christianity a second chance to alleviate him of his depression.

Sadly folks, this is yet another story about people coming to Christ for all the wrong reasons and therefore leaving Christianity for all the wrong reasons.

What I say deep down inside after reading these stories: “Folks but we need to wake up and understand our disparate condition due to the lack of true balanced discipleship. Quit acting as if we have no responsibility to lead people through intellectually tough issues. Quit acting as if we have it all figured out. Focus on the essentials. Show some grace. How could this person have gone to a Christian school and have no idea what Christianity is really about? God help us!”

What I say publicly: “Read this and tell me what you think. It hurts my heart.”

“I grew up in an ultra-conservative fundamentalist household. Bottom line: Christianity was my life! I attended a Christian middle school and high school. The brand of Christianity I was taught was “hell fire and brimstone”. I believed every word, never questioning. I attended door to door witnessing, and I helped with the church bus route. I personally led several people “to the lord”. Continue Reading »

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The central motivating factor in my ministry over the last ten years has been the need for Christians to engage the intellectual side of the faith with more confidence, hope, and joy. I began The Theology Program in 2001 which now is in hundreds of churches and has effected tens of thousands of people. I can barely keep up with the demands of this ministry as its need and potential becomes more evident each and every day.

The intellectual side of Christianity.

With all of this success, one inevitably finds those who continue to place much needed anchors in my mission. While I believe what I am doing has been given to me by God, I also understand that the intellect is not all there is. In fact, while I want to produce more confidence, hope, and joy in the lives of believers, I also want to instill a deep sense of humility. Theology done right should always produce a confident humility. Theology done wrong produces an ironically insecure emotional confidence that is made up of what I call “cut-and-paste” theology and apologetics (”just give me the answers, I don’t care how we get them”). Continue Reading »

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I received this email today. It is a story about a Christian, named Virginia who left the faith after 23 years.

Here it is along with my comments:

“Christianity thrives on human suffering and yearn for community. It was precisely under these circumstances that I committed myself to Christ at 19 years old, when my family got into serious trouble — father filed for bankruptcy, my parents separated.”

Yearn for community? This is what pushed her over the edge to become Christian 23 years ago? I yearn for community as well, but if we become Christians because of this, aren’t we setting ourselves up for a fall? Isn’t the circumstance that should cause us to become Christians the reality of our sin, the Cross, and the conviction of the resurrection of the God-man? Community may or may not be a continuous by-standard of our beliefs. It is the beliefs and trust that provide the genesis of our Christianity.

With all the yearning for care and love upon the utter shattering of my family, my high school pals who were Christians befriended me.

The illustration of need for community again.

I began fervently witnessing Christ, became a cell group leader on Bible study, witnessed to friends and relatives about Jesus and the salvation, using the tracts supplied from my church.

I was active in church and in my college years, also leaded evangelizing activities witnessing Jesus. However, I sensed in the entire ethos of this set of belief, some incompleteness.

I would imagine that the “incompleteness” comes from a rising realization of “cognitive dissonance.” Cognitive dissonance describes a physiological condition where a person’s beliefs are in contradiction to other beliefs or the way they live. Often people’s habitual patterns do not harmonize with their intellectual convictions. In Christianity, it is often the case where people live according to a Christian worldview due to traditional bents without ever experiencing a true cognitive or intellectual conversion to such. This produces a dichotomous life of dissonance—inconsistency in their beliefs and practices. I would imagine that this is the case with Virginia. Continue Reading »

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In the last post in this series I discussed why people leave Christianity, focusing on intellectual reasons. This post will focus on theological reasons why people leave Christianity.

Let me quickly remind you of some important prerequisites to understanding where I am coming from and where I am not coming from. I am talking about people who leave Christianity, not simply those who leave the Church. Both are very related, but one evidences a more serious departure while the other can be one step on the road to departure. Please understand that I am a Calvinist who believes in the ultimate perseverance of true Christians. But this does not give me a “get-out-of-jail-free” card with regard to this issue. I still have to deal with it from a human perspective of responsibility, even if I believe that God is in sovereign control of such things. In other words, the response, ”The reason why people leave the faith is because they were never truly called,” may be theologically true, but it is often not only unhelpful but it can be dismissive of our responsibility as Christians in the discharge of the Gospel and the understanding of seriousness of the problem that we face.

One other point of importance needs to be made. I understand that people leave the faith for other reasons besides those of an intellectual and theological nature. It is simply that in my experience and studies, I have found that these two factor in most predominately and form the basis for other reasons of departure.

Theological Reasons: Casualties by Friendly-Fire

Thesis: We have the tendency, left without theological discipleship and accountability, to make God into who we think he ought to be. When that version of him fails, it is not as if the true version has failed, but only the version we created. Therefore, we have not really left God in a proper sense, but we have left the God we made. Sure, this God may be called “Jesus” and he may have died on a cross for our sins, but, for some people, these form secondary characteristics that are not foundational.

The lack of theological discipleship in the Church has created casualties by friendly-fire.

Let me explain. Continue Reading »

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I sat down with a young lady a couple of weeks ago and had a conversation. This was a conversation about faith—her faith. Better put, this was a conversation about a faith that once was and is no more. She was a very interesting and bright lady—inquisitive, well-read, and suspicious. She began by telling me that she was a Christian (past tense) and had since left the faith. Christ was once a part of her confession, but, as she recounted to me, after a long voyage of not finding sufficient answers for her doubts, she believes that she had no choice but to follow her own integrity and renounce Christ all together. I asked her what her problems were and she became very emotional. It was like I represented Christianity and she was ready to take it all out on me.

Ignorance. Pity. Shame. These are all good descriptions of what she thought of Christianity. But the primary description that I felt coming from here was “betrayal.” She had been betrayed by the Church because they duped her into a belief not unlike that of the tooth fairy. When she discovered this betrayal, no one had a valid answer or excuse. So she left. She is now an unbeliever—a soon-to-be evangelistic unbeliever.

One fascination, obsession, and focus (neurotic pulse?) I have in my life and ministry is with regard to those, like this young lady, who leave the faith. You may have noticed this. I have over a dozen books giving autobiographical sketches of those who once proclaimed to be Christian and are now evangelistic atheists, agnostics, or skeptics, with their goal to convert or, rather, unconvert others. I have been in contact with many people who either have already left or are on the verge of leaving. I get emails, phone calls, and visits from the same.

No, it is not a neurotic pulse. I believe that it is the recognition of an extremely serious issue that we are facing today. We are facing an epidemic in Christianity—an epidemic of unbelief among our own. Crowding our churches are those who are somewhere in the process of leaving. No, I am not talking about leaving a denomination. I am not talking about abandoning some institutionalized expression of Christianity. I am not talking about leaving the church (though related). And I am not even talking about renouncing religion. I am talking about those who are leaving Christ. Continue Reading »

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In the last post on this series I discussed why people leave Christianity, focusing on intellectual reasons. This post will focus on theological reasons why people leave Christianity.

Let me quickly remind you of some important prerequisites to understanding where I am coming from and where I am not coming from. I am talking about people who leave Christianity, not simply those who leave the Church. Both are very related, but one evidences a more serious departure while the other can be one step on the road to departure. Please understand that I am a Calvinist who believes in the ultimate perseverance of true Christians. But this does not give me a “get-out-of-jail-free” card with regard to this issue. I still have to deal with it from a human perspective of responsibility, even if I believe that God is in sovereign control of such things. In other words, the response, ”The reason why people leave the faith is because they were never truly called,” may be theologically true, but it is often not only unhelpful but it can be dismissive of our responsibility as Christians in the discharge of the Gospel and the understanding of seriousness of the problem that we face.

One other point of importance needs to be made. I understand that people leave the faith for other reasons besides those of an intellectual and theological nature. It is simply that in my experience and studies, I have found that these two factor in most predominately and form the basis for other reasons of departure.

Theological Reasons: Casualties by Friendly-Fire

Thesis: We have the tendency, left without theological discipleship and accountability, to make God into who we think he ought to be. When that version of him fails, it is not as if the true version has failed, but only the version we created. Therefore, we have not really left God in a proper sense, but we have left the God we made. Sure, this God may be called “Jesus” and he may have died on a cross for our sins, but, for some people, these form secondary characteristics that are not foundational.

The lack of theological discipleship in the Church has created casualties by friendly-fire.

Let me explain.

The “My will be done” type of God named “Jesus”

Imagine a person who finds God through some sort of deathbed experience. They may have been terminally ill and then they pray to God for the first time in their lives. Suddenly, they are healed. Based upon this, they accept a version of God who heals when trouble comes. Ask and you shall receive—according to your will. Their theology may allow for the name “Jesus”, the atonement for sins, and a belief that Christ is God, but they only believe this because God healed them. But what happens if they never grow with regards to their understanding of who God is, his sovereignty to take a life or to spare a life, the ultimate hope of the resurrection, and many other foundational theological issues? What happens when their spouse gets sick or their child has cancer and their version of God does not come to the rescue? Often, these will become disillusioned and skeptical of the God who brought about the previous miracle. If their belief in God is based on his healing intervention according to their will, then this belief no longer has a basis. Therefore, God no longer has a basis.

The personal promise maker God named “Jesus”

My mother went through a theological disillusionment when my sister Angie committed suicide four years ago. She wanted so badly to be assured that Angie was going to be okay and that the depression would not ultimately take her life, so she read the Bible the way that she wanted to read it. She found a passage that, in her mind, said Angie was not going to kill herself. It was in the Psalms. The problem was that this passage said nothing about Angie and gave no promises concerning her life. But my mother was determined enough to find a garuntee to alleviate her fear. She trusted in God and “Took him at his word.” When Angie did take her life, my mother was totally disillusioned with God. She never left Christianity, but there was a version of God that failed her. This version did not exist. God had made no such promises and was not obligated to fulfill promises never made.

The “I am primarily concerned about your success and stability” God named “Jesus”

This is a very common type of God today, especially with the health and wealth Gospel. The health and wealth Gospel essentially creates a God named “Jesus” who died on the cross, but who’s primary purpose in existence is to make sure all the bills are paid and everyone in your family is healthy, including you. Pain and suffering and financial troubles are a sign that you do not have enough faith. This type of God lives and breaths to make you successful and stable. Yet this is not the God of the Bible either. When you do suffer, when the bills cannot be paid, does God fail or simply your version of him?

The “I am about your glory” God named “Jesus”

Although this is a variation of the others, often we create God in such a way that he is concerned only about you and your temporal gain, whatever that may be. I see this often. Sadly, I have seen this from ministers who are being trained for ministry. It was about them and their success. It did not matter whether it was the success of their ministry or their overcoming temptation. God was about prioritizing their glory. When their glory was not attained, where do they go? Their verion of God failed and they seek glory elsewhere.

The “Jesus” who said the world was flat

There are also those who accept Christianity based upon false requirements for Christianity to be true. For example, there are some who believe and teach that inerrancy is essential to Christianity. Others believe that the doctrine of the infallibility of the Pope is central to the Christian faith. Some believe and teach that true Christians will not ever struggle with homosexuality. And we all know the story of institutionalized Christianity who said that the world was flat and anathematized any who would dare to disagree. This form of legalism creates boundaries that are unbiblical and become part of the Christianity that people often accept. But what happens when a person does continue to struggle with homosexuality? What happens when they are convinced by a college professor that there is a historical error in the Bible? What happens when the Pope says something wrong? What happens when Galileo’s telescope indicates that the world is round? They can either surrender their intellectual integrity and believe according to these “Christian” boundaries, or they can find another option besides Christianity.

The problem is that these versions of Christianity do not represent true Christianity. If they leave, did they really leave Christ or the version that their bad theology provided.

My question is this: If we allow people to remain undiscipled “Christians,” what do we expect? Are we about making disciples or making converts? If we continue in the same vain, we should expect more disillusionment, more doubt, and more leavers.

We must teach people that God is God, his promises are his prerogative, and we do not dare add to his requirements for Christianity. We must get back to theological discipleship.

In summary, the church needs to look long and hard at its current Gospel discharge methods and see that the lack of intellectual viability presented and the bad theology allowed, form the bed that we have made. From a human perspecive, we may be suffering such loses due to friendly-fire. We need to make sure that if people are leaving Christianity, they are not doing so for all the wrong reasons.

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I use the word atheist to be provocative. Agnostic might be a better word.

I have an acquaintance who is a closet agnostic, not wanting to disrupt his family and friends. He attends church, sings the hymns, takes communion, but is not at all sure that God exists. He has become settled in this state of mind and heart and only confides in a few individuals—including me, whom he came to know through my book, Walking Away from Faith.

If I know him, why haven’t I argued him back into faith, some would say. I talk about atheism and apologetics in my book and I touch on related issues in an article I wrote in the most recent issue of Mission Frontiers.

People come back to faith most often through their emotions, including music and personal relationships. When someone admits their unbelief, they are regarded as unbelievers—as objects of evangelism—which puts them outside the community of faith.

I defend my acquaintance because I believe he will discover his faith again inside the community of faith—more likely than he would on the outside, hanging out with the atheists.

Two comments come to mind. Madeleine L’Engle who said, With my naked intellect I cannot believe in God. She needed the emotions and community to believe in God. The other comment is from Kathleen Norris who had wandered in unbelief for 20 years: “I came to understand that God hadn’t lost me even if I had seemed for years to have misplaced God.”

So, I defend the closet atheist.

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I sat down with a young lady a couple of weeks ago and had a conversation. This was a conversation about faith—her faith. Better put, this was a conversation about a faith that once was and is no more. She was a very interesting and bright lady—inquisitive, well-read, and suspicious. She began by telling me that she was a Christian (past tense) and had since left the faith. Christ was once a part of her confession, but, as she recounted to me, after a long voyage of not finding sufficient answers for her doubts, she believes that she had no choice but to follow her own integrity and renounce Christ all together. I asked her what her problems were and she became very emotional. It was like I represented Christianity and she was ready to take it all out on me.

Ignorance. Pity. Shame. These are all good descriptions of what she thought of Christianity. But the primary description that I felt coming from here was “betrayal.” She had been betrayed by the Church because they duped her into a belief not unlike that of the tooth fairy. When she discovered this betrayal, no one had a valid answer or excuse. So she left. She is now an unbeliever—a soon-to-be evangelistic unbeliever.

One fascination, obsession, and focus (neurotic pulse?) I have in my life and ministry is with regard to those, like this young lady, who leave the faith. You may have noticed this. I have over a dozen books giving  autobiographical sketches of those who once proclaimed to be Christian and are now evangelistic atheists, agnostics, or skeptics, with their goal to convert or, rather, unconvert others. I have been in contact with many people who either have already left or are on the verge of leaving. I get emails, phone calls, and visits from the same.

No, it is not a neurotic pulse. I believe that it is the recognition of an extremely serious issue that we are facing today. We are facing an epidemic in Christianity—an epidemic of unbelief among our own. Crowding our churches are those who are somewhere in the process of leaving. No, I am not talking about leaving a denomination. I am not talking about abandoning some institutionalized expression of Christianity. I am not talking about leaving the church (though related). And I am not even talking about renouncing religion. I am talking about those who are leaving Christ.

Over 31 million Americans are saying “check please” to the church, and are off to find answers elsewhere. Jeff Schadt, coordinator of Youth Transition Network, says thousands of youth fall away from the church when transitioning from high school to college. He and other youth leaders estimate that 65 to 94 percent of high school students stop attending church after graduating. From my studies and experience I find that leaving church is many times the first visible step in one’s pilgrimage away from Christ.

The question that we must ask is a very simple one: Why? Why are people leaving the faith at this epidemic and alarming rate? In my studies, I have found that the two primary reasons people leave the faith are 1) intellectual challenges and 2) bad theology or misplaced beliefs.

First, I want to explain this transition process, focusing on the first: intellectual challenges. You might even find yourself somewhere on this journey.

Step one: Doubt
Step two: Discouragement
Step three: Disillusionment
Step four: Apathy
Step five: Departure

Step One: Doubt

Here is where the person begins to examine his or her faith more critically by asking questions, expressing concerns, and becoming transparent with their doubt. This doubt is not wholesale, but expresses an inner longing to have questions answered and the intellect satisfied to some degree. Normally this person will inquire of mentors in the faith, requesting an audience for their doubt.

Step Two: Discouragement

This is where the person becomes frustrated because they are not finding the answers. They ask questions but the answer (or lack thereof) causes them discouragement. Their church tells them that such questions are “unchristian.” Their Sunday school teacher says, “I don’t know. You just have to believe.” Others simply say, “That’s a good question, I have never thought of it before,” and then go on their way on their own leap-of-faith journey.

Step Three: Disillusionment

Now the person begins to become disillusioned with Christianity in general and proceeds to doubt much more deeply. They feel betrayed by those who made them believe the story about Christ. They feel that much of their former faith was naive since not even their most trusted mentors could (or would) answer basic questions about the Bible, history, or faith. In their thinking the intellect has become illegitimized and the church is therefore an illegitimate contender for their mind.

Step Four: Apathy

At this point in the journey, the disillusioned Christian becomes apathetic to finding the answers, believing that the answers don’t exist. They are firmly on their way to atheism, agnosticism, or pure skepticism but don’t have the courage to admit it to themselves or others. Many times those in this stage live as closet unbelievers, believing it is not worth it to come clean about their departure from the faith. They want a peaceful existence in their unbelief without creating controversy. Therefore, they are content to remain closet unbelievers.

Step Five: Departure

Here is where I meet this young lady I told you about. (Really, she was somewhere in-between apathy and departure.) At this stage the fact that they have left the faith has become real to them and they are willing to announce to the world. Because of their sense of betrayal, they feel as if it is their duty to become evangelists for the cause of unbelief. Their goal and mission becomes to unconvert the converted.

“I don’t really even care what you have to say to me,” she told me that day. “I just don’t believe anymore and there is nothing anyone can do about it.” As I thought about this young lady over the last week, only one thing keeps coming to mind: how was she a part of the church for so long without the church engaging her on these issues. You see, her issues were numerous, but foundational. She doubted the resurrection of Christ, the inspiration, inerrancy, and canon of Scripture, and the historicity of the Christian faith in general. If the church had legitimized her questions during the doubting phase and truly engaged her from an intellectual front I can’t help but think, from a human point of view, things might have been different. But once she reaches the point of apathy, this seems to be a point of no return.

My life and my ministry is committed to one thing: rooting people theologically by presenting the intellectual viability of the Evangelical faith. While I understand this is not all there is to the Christian faith, it is an absolute vital part of discipleship and foundational to everything else.

Everyone will go through the doubt phase. Everyone should ask questions about the faith. If you have not asked the “How do you know . . .” questions about the message of the Gospel, this is not a good thing. We should be challenged to think through these questions early in the faith. The Church needs to rethink its education program. Expositional preaching, while important, is not enough. Did you hear that? Expositional preaching is not enough. It does not provide the discipleship venue that is vital for us to prevent and overcome this epidemic. We should not fool ourselves into thinking that it does.

The church has been on an intellectual diet for the last century and we are suffering from theological atrophy. What else do you expect when we have replaced theological discipleship with a gluttonous promotion of entertainment, numbers, and fast-food Christianity that can produce nothing more than a veneer of faith seasoned for departure?

The solution: to reform our educational program in the church. To lay theological foundations through critical thinking. To understand that the great commission is to make disciples, not simply converts. And most importantly, we must pray that God will grant a revival of the mind knowing that without the power of the Holy Spirit, no amount of intellectual persuasion can change an antagonistic heart.

Without these, the epidemic of leaving Christ will only worsen.

“The heart will not accept what the mind rejects.” —Jonathan Edwards

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Friday night’s “Letter’s From Leavers” theme is taking a slight twist. It has been reported that Francis Beckwith has just?converted to Roman Catholicism. The details are?sketchy and Dr. Beckwith has yet to speak publicly about this, but is seems that the reports are true. This will come as a great shock and disappointment to many evangelicals. Francis Beckwith is currently an associate professor of theology at Baylor University (June 2007) and has written prolifically championing the evangelical faith and evangelical causes. His books include (w/ W. L. Craig, J. P. Moreland) To Every One An Answer: A Case for the Christian Worldview (InterVarsity Press, 2004);? (w/ G. P. Koukl) Relativism: Feet Firmly Planted in Mid-Air (Baker, 1998); (w/ L. P. Pojman) The Abortion Controversy 25 Years After Roe v. Wade: A Reader, 2/e (Wadsworth, 1998). More importantly, Beckwith is the current president of Evangelical Theological Society. Continue Reading »

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I guess Friday is now for leavers. Might make for depressing Fridays
Let me introduce you to Kristie (name has been altered to protect her identity). Please read her letter expressing why she walked away from the faith at 20 years old. 

My name is Kristie and I live in Dallas, Texas. I am twenty years old and have grown up in a very strict Southern Baptist home. I’ve been on my own now for several months and have since decided to quit going to church. This choice was a difficult one for me and I had to do a lot of soul searching. Continue Reading »

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This letter was posted on another website. Short evaluation to follow.

First off, I feel I should state that I am only 19, and not what you could call “heavily-educated in religious topics.” I was raised, strictly, on Lutheran practices, and for quite some time, I guess as a blind child, believed all I was told. I went through baptism, as well as confirmation, still believing everything I was told. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I found a loop hole that no one would answer, or contradict… and instead of answers or help, I received condemnation, and the joy of being ignored by EVERYONE in my church going congregation who have heard of my simple statement, that still lies unanswered after so long. . . . Continue Reading »

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I found this letter from “Wally” to be particularly sad and typically disturbing. It hurt to read. “Wally” raised his family in the church, but now, later in his life, has left the faith. While his entire family passionately moves forward in the faith, he is a “closet unbeliever.” Reason: Because of the horrific acts of God in the Old Testament. As he describes it: Continue Reading »

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It is no secret that the ranks of the Christian church–the organized Christian church–are thinning. People are less and less likely to be involved in local churches for many reasons. The postmodern ethos is partly to blame (or “credit” might be a better word). Why are people leaving? Continue Reading »

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